Sex and Intimacy After Having a Baby

Every person and relationship is different. Some people feel ready for sex soon after giving birth, while others need more time to emotionally or physically heal. Fatigue, healing, emotional changes, and adjusting to life with a newborn can all affect how you feel about intimacy.

If You Choose to Have Sex

Wait until your bleeding has stopped and your body has healed, usually around six weeks after birth. Most patients have a check-up six weeks after delivery, and this is a good time to ask your provider if you are physically ready to have sex.

Go slowly and try different positions. Spend time kissing, touching, and relaxing to help your body create natural lubrication and comfort.

Penetrative sex may feel different, even if you had a C-section. It can be mildly uncomfortable or painful, cause light bleeding, or lead to strong emotional reactions. If penetration is uncomfortable due to dryness, using a water-based lubricant such as Astroglide® can help. In most cases, mild discomfort will lessen with time and additional attempts.

However, if sex is painful, tell your provider, and know that:

• You may need to wait longer for your tissues to heal, especially if you had tearing or an episiotomy.
• You may need to ask for a referral to pelvic floor physical therapy. A pelvic floor physical therapist can teach you exercises to retrain and strengthen the muscles in your lower abdomen after the physical changes of carrying a baby, prolonged or complicated labor, or abdominal surgery like a C-section.
• Your body is healing and adjusting after birth. If you’re having a hard time with how you feel—physically or emotionally—it’s okay to ask for help with your mental health.

You do not need to force yourself to continue with sex if it is painful.

Talking and Intimacy

Share your feelings openly with your partner. It’s normal if your desire for sex doesn’t match theirs.

• You're recovering from a major event that has left your body looking and feeling different, plus hormonal changes during the newborn period can change how you feel about sex.
• Making sure your own basic needs are met can help you heal faster and increase the chances that you will enjoy sex. Make sure you're getting as much sleep as you can, regularly eating healthy food, and getting support during stressful situations.

Intimacy can mean more than sex—hugging, holding hands, cuddling, or simply talking together can help you feel close and connected.

Your Comfort and Safety Matter

Sex should always be your choice. You never have to say yes if you don’t want to.

If you feel unsafe or pressured, talk to your healthcare provider. You deserve to feel respected, safe, and supported. 

Birth Control

Ovulation (releasing an egg) can happen before your first period. You can become pregnant as soon as two weeks after birth.

Breastfeeding, even if you are only breastfeeding and not using formula, also does not fully prevent pregnancy.

Partners in Contraceptive Choice and Knowledge (PICCK) is a Massachusetts-based nonprofit that works to promote excellent, equitable contraceptive care by educating healthcare providers on the full range of options available to their patients. Read their guide to postpartum birth control options from temporary to permanent:

Download PICCK Postpartum Contraception (Birth Control) Guide (PDF)

Your two- and six-week check-ups after birth are good times to talk with your provider about your future plans and birth control options that will work for your body.