“Sometimes when you’re in recovery, you feel like you have something to prove, like you have to show everyone that you’re capable and that you’re a good mom,” says Laura Fennelly-Murphy, who says she has been in recovery for 15 years and “clean” for nine. Throughout that time, the Supporting Our Families through Addiction and Recovery (SOFAR) program at Boston Medical Center has been a critical support in her life.
“SOFAR has been following me and supporting my family for going on 15 years now—through all of my pregnancies, through my entire recovery journey, and through some of the hardest moments of my life,” says Laura. One of those moments included the death of her youngest son, Lehan, at 12 days old from sudden infant death syndrome in 2023.
“Losing Lehan has been absolutely torturous, and BMC and the SOFAR team have been so great about making sure that not only I feel supported and cared about, but also that my children do too.”
Laura Builds on Her Strengths Through Parent Coaching in SOFAR
Last year Laura participated in SOFAR’s THRIVE program with her youngest living son, Donovan, who was then 6. THRIVE is a parent coaching program, based on the evidence-based Parent-Child Interaction Therapy, that encourages secure, connected relationships between parents and their children and builds skills for managing big feelings together. SOFAR is studying how to best bring THRIVE into pediatric care for families in recovery. Laura and Donovan worked directly with Alison Cohan, a licensed social worker with SOFAR.
“Donovan would pick out a game, toy, or activity for us to do together, and that time was completely about the two of us playing, bonding, and connecting. I got to watch him be creative, join in with him, cheer him on, encourage him, build his confidence, and just really connect with him,” says Laura.
During that time, Alison would watch Laura and Donovan and provide feedback. “Alison would point out the moments where Donovan and I really connected and help me understand why those moments worked so well,” says Laura. “Sometimes it was something as simple as changing the way I worded something to him, following his lead, or recognizing when encouragement was really building his confidence,” says Laura. “Other times, she might say, ‘You did a great job with that,’ but then kindly suggest a different way I could approach or word something. It was never about making me feel like I was doing something wrong. It was more like having someone there helping me recognize what was already working between us and giving me even more tools to build on it.
“Especially as a mom in recovery, that meant A LOT to me. Because there can be this feeling that your past is always going to follow you or that people are going to look at your history before they look at the mother standing in front of them. Alison never made me feel that way. She saw my relationship with my son. She saw how much I loved him, how I supported him, and how connected we were, and then she helped us make that relationship even stronger.”
Laura also appreciated that she was able to use the skills she learned with her older two boys, Kaedan, 13, and Rylan, 9.
SOFAR and THRIVE Help the Whole Family Succeed
For Laura, SOFAR and THRIVE have changed her life—and her family’s. “Programs like SOFAR and THRIVE are not just for the addiction or the mom. They really understand that recovery and everything that happens along the way affects the entire family, especially the children,” says Laura. “They didn’t just see where I came from, they got to see where I went. And they’re still here, walking beside me and cheering me on while I continue trying to better myself every day.”
Today, Laura and her husband, Brayden, own a beautiful home, and Laura runs a successful social media business. She’s also working to become a substance use counselor. “I want to be able to use what I’ve been through to help other people who are where I once was,” Laura says.
“I think a lot of moms in recovery are afraid of being judged because of their history, especially when it comes to their children. I want them to know that there are people and programs out there that genuinely want to see you and your children succeed. I would say ‘Take the help. Ask questions. Advocate for your babies.”