#  Adjusting After Pregnancy Loss or Stillbirth: Resources and Self-Care 

 

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Learning to live after a pregnancy loss takes time. Accepting what happened does not mean it was okay. It means you know it is real and you learn how to live with it.

Life may look different than you expected. It is okay to feel like a different person now. Go at your own pace.

## The Importance of Support

You do not have to go through this alone.

You may choose to lean on:

- Friends
- Family
- Community
- Faith or cultural supports

**You get to decide what to share and with whom.**

Some people find support through:

- A therapist
- Pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or grief support groups
- Medication (talk with your care team)
- Books, podcasts, or online communities

**Many people use more than one kind of support.**

## Self-Care Tips

### Remembering Your Pregnancy

Some people find comfort in honoring their pregnancy in a special way.

You may choose to:

- Keep keepsakes in a memory box (our clinic can give you one)
- Light a candle
- Plant a tree or flowers
- Write a note or letter
- Create a small ritual that feels right to you

**There is no right way to remember.**

### Share Your Story

Telling your story can help you heal. You may share:

- What happened
- How you felt
- What you hoped for
- What this experience means to you

You can:

- Write it down
- Tell someone you trust
- Talk with a counselor

**Your story belongs to you.**

### Set Small, Real Goals

Be gentle with yourself. Your body and mind have been through a lot.

- Eating regular meals
- Drinking water
- Sleeping when you can
- Showering and brushing your teeth
- Taking a short walk
- Listen to your body

**Some days, simple self-care is enough.**

### Make Time to Grieve

Life can feel busy and loud. Setting quiet time to feel your grief can help it feel less heavy.

You may:

- Write in a journal
- Cry
- Listen to music
- Read poems
- Pray or reflect
- Write a letter to your pregnancy

**Do what feels right for you.**

### Do Things That Bring Small Joy

It may feel strange to feel joy during grief, but both can exist at the same time.

Some people enjoy:

- Gentle movement
- Time with pets or loved ones
- Being outside
- Helping others

**You still deserve moments of comfort and joy.**

### Set Boundaries

Protect your energy and feelings. You may choose:

- Not to attend baby-related events
- How much you share about your loss
- When you need rest or quiet

**You do not owe anyone your story.**

### Keep a Simple Routine

A daily routine can help you feel steady and grounded. Simple structure can support healthy habits like eating, sleeping, and moving.

### Spend Time Outside

Nature can help calm the body and mind. Fresh air, sunlight, and movement can support healing.

### Creative Expression

Making art can help express feelings when words are hard. Creative time can be calming and healing.

This can include:

- Drawing or painting
- Writing
- Music
- Crafting
- Dancing

## Resources

[Find Support Groups and Comfort after Stillbirth or Pregnancy Loss](/bump-beyond/during-pregnancy/mental-health/after-loss "Bump & Beyond: Comfort After Stillbirth or Pregnancy Loss | Boston Medical Center (bmc.org)")

[Get Help Now for Your Mental Health](/bump-beyond/during-pregnancy/mental-health/get-help-now "Bump & Beyond: Get Help Now for Your Mental Health | Boston Medical Center (bmc.org)")

### Books

- *At a Loss*, by Donna Rothert
- *Birth Story Held for Loss*, by Emily Souder
- *Empty Cradle, Broken Heart*, by Deborah L. Davis
- *It’s OK That You’re Not OK* by Megan Devine
- *Your Guide to Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss*, by Dr. Kate White

Some books may be available through your healthcare provider.

### Mobile Apps and Podcasts

- [Pregnancy After Loss Support (PALS)](https://pregnancyafterlosssupport.org/pregnancy-after-loss-app/ "Pregnancy After Loss App | Pregnancy After Loss Support (PALS) (pregnancyafterlosssupport.org)"): Self-care, groups, mobile app
- [The Joyful Mourning](https://www.themorning.com/ "The Morning (themorning.com)")
- [The Miscarriage Therapist](https://open.spotify.com/show/3n1dGhatePbWh4oXoDTPDw "The Miscarriage Therapist Podcast on Spotify (spotify.com)")
- [Our TFMR Stories](https://open.spotify.com/show/5mSactEFVmIg2OBz195FXs "Our TFMR Stories Podcast on Spotify (spotify.com)")
- [Sisters in Loss](https://sistersinloss.com/ "Sisters in Loss - Replacing Silence with Storytelling around Pregnancy (sistersinloss.com)")
- [The Worst Girl Gang Ever](https://theworstgirlgangever.co.uk/ "The Worst Girl Gang Ever Foundation (theworstgirlgangever.co.uk)")

### Books for Children 

- *The Invisible String*, by Patrice Karst
- *No New Baby*, by Marilyn Gryte
- *We Were Going to Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead*, by Pat Schwiebert

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